Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Trump and mental illness

When I was in 6th grade, my Dad remarried.  For the 3 years previously, he had tried to manage a household and raise 4 kids by himself after my Mom died.  He didn't do a great job of it, and when a woman stepped into this male (except for me) household, I was thrilled.  

That elation didn't last long.  I learned that some people need to win at any cost, and that hurting people emotionally, physically, and financially can be rationalized.  I learned that confronting someone who does these things is an exercise in futility as they are supremely narcissistic.  My relationship with my stepmom was extremely volatile as I struggled through adolescence, and I have this experience to thank for my current life.  

My life: full of generosity, concern for others, a bit too focused on fairness, a deep understanding of what it feels like to be abused and neglected, a commitment to a future America in which the wealthy will help those who are less fortunate and those who have improved their lives pay it forward.

This could have gone the other way and I might have built a life centered around bitterness, deceit, money and possessions, anger, and rationalizations.  I might even have believed that those who were less fortunate made themselves that way.  I might have hoarded my resources, and built ways to keep others from approaching.  

In short, I might have supported Trump.  

I cannot watch Trump without seeing the woman who was so central to my adolescence.  I see someone who lies to bring down an opponent and lies to build himself up.  I see someone who cheats other people, because if someone gets cheated, it's their fault for not being sharp enough.  I see someone who tries to intimidate others through threats and manipulation, as I was threatened.  I see someone who had people on his security detail who assaulted others violently, as I also experienced violence personally and witnessed assaults on my Dad. Trump is clearly fucked up and all the money and fame in the world cannot make him a safe person. 

My vote is very much a positive vote for Hillary and on a deeper level, a vote honoring my survival from a narcisist so similar to Trump.  Please vote, and remember that our country has been built on cooperation and inclusion.

31 comments:

  1. I hear you sister! Trump is an extreme danger to our republic. Thank you for using your forum for the good of our country.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As an interested neighbour, up here in Canada, I am dumfounded that Mr. Trump has gotten as far as he has. We usually winter in Florida, but will boycott if he is successful in his bid. All my friends here feel the same.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a powerful story. Thank you for sharing something so personal and relating it so clearly to what you see happening on a larger scale. I too think there is no higher privilege than being our brothers and sisters keepers. One way we do that is by voting with thought and care for candidates who embody that value. Thank you again for sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Enjoy your blog, and I hear what you are saying! As your Canadian neighbour, I am very concerned about the election and what it will mean for you folks if he wins...and for us as well... I am suffering with a DIL that is showing these characteristics and keeps us from the grandkids. I feel your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so sorry for your childhood. Goodness, some people just suck. :(

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well said . . .
    Cynthia

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well said. Thanks for sharing more of your story. I have friends visiting from europe and they do not see Trump as a positive anything for them. Meanwhile, I'm around Trump supporters who can only spout one thing about Hilary; she tells lies. And their view has to do with how they perceive a woman's role. She can't lie and be wholesome. Nevermind all the Trump 'stories'.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sorry you endured abuse. I know that pain and while I have not only survived, I have learned to thrive, in spite of shame, guilt, anger, fear, sadness and the myriad emotions resulting.

    Interesting, however, that your description of Trump is exactly how I would describe Hillary Clinton, only I see her as far more evil and less narcissistic. I've given no thought to my abuse (from a male) affecting my perception of either candidate. I would have preferred different choices, but it is not to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give specifics please! Blanket statements are not very insightful.....please elucidate.

      Delete
    2. Nursebennett,
      Can you tell us what you think is admirable about Trump? Maybe the way he thinks groping female genitals is his right? saying slutty comments about women? not knowing the Ukraine from raisin bread? C'mon tell us!!

      Delete
    3. Here is a relevant youtube video:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcqh0gRy-og

      Delete
    4. I would appreciate those who are posting anonymously to identify themselves in some way. I do not want anonymous dumps of video or links here. This community knows each other in a variety of ways and they deserve conversation which is NOT anonymous.

      Delete
    5. Does the video not support your narrative?

      youtube

      Delete
    6. No, it does not but that is not the point. You have introduced a video with very little context. This blog is a community of people who share a love of textiles. To discuss politics is a sideline. It would be helpful for you to id yourself so we can plce your information in context with what we kniw about you. Of course, I can delete your comments if I choose to.

      Delete
    7. I understand the dislike of anonymity, so this will be my last post, but I must say that video link must be commented upon: our Constitution and democracy depend on everyone..EVERYONE, even the disgusting and incorrigible criminals..having the ability to get a fair trial and to be innocent until proven guilty. To not do so is feeding into the world Trump desires: a dictatorship. HC did not volunteer for the defense of the pedophile scum, she was appointed. Appointed defense lawyers are to defend, not judge.
      As for anon postings, what is the difference between signing as "Anon" or having a name go to a google site that is a dead link?

      Thanks for listening to my reply,
      from a sewist in the Midwest

      Delete
  9. strong again? because of trump's lies and divisiveness we are weaker than we were 18 months ago. i can't think of him without crying anymore. we are seriously considering leaving the country if he gets elected. the last time madmen ruled any number of countries was during WWII and look what happened.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Any advise on how to live in Canada as an American? Need to prepare for the worst!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please, don't prepare for the worst. Prepare for the best by registering voters, knocking on doors to remind people to vote, making phone calls, driving voters to the polls (you can even do this for early voting, if your state has it. Now is not the time to sit and sigh. Now is the time to work to save our country.

      We *can* do it if we try.

      Delete
  11. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I'm so sorry to hear of your abuse but you have used your experience to make you a stronger and caring person which is admirable. I understand your description of Trump. My daughter's husband is an abuser. Here in the UK we have a new law to protect those who suffer coercive control from their partners. We are appalled that Trump was able to become the Republican nominee when there so many fine, fair and intelligent people in your country. We fear for you and we fear for the world should he succeed. We don't like what is happening in the UK either (for example leaving the EU has encouraged racist behaviour).

    ReplyDelete
  12. I didn't see the debate between them but read that Trump said he was going to come down harder on Hillary next time. Surely winning these debates are about proving you are the better candidate rather than pulling down the other person.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Also I am sorry that your stepmother had the need for whatever reason to treat you as she did. I am glad you turned your trauma into a positive outcome.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well said. I'm glad you haven't let your childhood pull you down. I know of what you speak; in my family it was my father who was the narcissist.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are clearly a survivor Mary and I salute you. As for Trump I cannot believe he has got this far. I do hope he sinks into oblivion. The thought of him running your country frightens me.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Powerful post Mary, thank you for your candour.

    As an outsider (UK) I have to ask - do you all know what an international laughing stock the USA is right now with DT running as president?
    N. Americans - Please don't let the world down: you are not the only nation in this world.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am sorry about your troubled childhood. And I understand your dislike of Trump. However, I'd rather have someone who tells it like it is, than someone like Hillary or Obama, who are destroying the country and dividing it and lying through their teeth and telling everyone everything is going to be fine, while the unemployment, insecurity (both here and abroad), cost of living (especially healthcare) and the national debt keep skyrocketing. Just my point of view.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks for sharing, Mary. It's hard to believe we are here, but here we are. Cooperation and inclusion are definitely what it's about.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks for sharing. I agree with your opinion of the jerk! What is really scary is that folks are so disheartened they can't see him for what he is.....they only see a "changer".

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks for sharing, Mary. Also being a survivor of emotional and verbal abuse from my mother, I can not abide all of the insane rhetoric that DT blathers on about(i.e. his battle of the sexes, LGTB, the economics of the US government and more..) This entire process of election has changed so much in the past 40 years. I am very disappointed in the media coverage and hope that all citizens go out and vote!! Hopefully DT (we can call him deet) whimpers off into his bubble.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can't vote in the US of course and wasn't on the so-called winning side in the EU referendum here (so many lies told, so many statistics twisted). I encourage everyone to vote and then at least the result will be democratic, I hope! I'm glad you are resilient and have risen above the emotional chains (?) applied by your stepmother.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

I love your comments and enjoy the conversation that results.